The Dukan diaries: Part the first

Spicy tuna frittata

My darling boyfriend has his school reunion on Friday. He’s been understandably twitchy about it for a while, and making noises about losing some weight beforehand. (I did the same when my school reunion was in the offing, but then did the sensible thing and RSVPed no, on the basis that they wouldn’t be able to see my cellulite all the way from Jo’burg. Then I ordered a pizza.) Anyway, two weeks before the date, the boyfriend suddenly went, “Oh shit. Diet time.” So he’s doing Dukan, the high-protein, low-fat, zero-carb diet beloved of skinny Frenchwomen and the Dowager Duchess of Cambridge. Oh, isn’t she? How does that work, then?

So, for those readers who have spent the last six months locked in a cupboard (lucky things! You must be lovely and thin!), here’s the low-down: you kick off with a brief “attack” phase, during which you can eat all the lean protein your budget permits, some eggs, fat-free dairy and a whole tablespoon every day of yummy yummy oat bran. You’re also allowed herbs and spices.

As you can imagine, this has challenged my culinary creativity to the max. We’ve had some quite nice meals though, in the circumstances, and it occurred to me to do some too-little-too-late blogging. So here is the last meal of the boyfriend’s formal Attack phase.

Spicy tuna frittata

You need:
6 eggs, 2 separated and the whites beaten to stiff peaks
Three or four spring onions, chopped
1 garlic clove, chopped
A small piece of root ginger, chopped
Two red chillies, chopped
One bunch of coriander, chopped
Two tins of tuna in spring water, well drained
2 tsp soy sauce

In your homeopathically-oiled non-stick pan, place the spring onion, garlic and chilli to cook while you beat the whole eggs and two extra yolks with the soy sauce. Use a little of the mixture to lighten the egg whites, then fold the whites into the whole egg mixture. Add the tuna to the pan to warm through for a bit. Turn on your grill.

Remove the tuna and veg from the pan and add a small amount of the egg mixture (this is just to provide a sort of base for the frittata). Add the tuna and veg, the coriander and then the rest of the egg – you will end up with a load of fluffy beaten egg white on top.

Leave it to cook until the base is brown – you’ll be able to smell when it’s there, but lift it carefully with a spatula to check – if it’s sticking, it probably needs to cook for a little longer. Then remove the pan and place it under the grill (not too close) for about 7 minutes, until the top is brown and puffed up. Carefully ease the frittata out of the pan onto a plate, slice and serve.

This is surprisingly delicious. It would have been even nicer with crab – we had some in the fridge, but I forgot about it. Dr Dukan has eaten my brain.

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